What should I do with my feelings? Feel them.

I have so many people ask me what they should do with their feelings. The answer is... feel them. This typically leads to a blank stare, which I can only assume means that they are questioning their choice in therapists.

Many of us try to numb our feelings with substance (food, drink, drugs) or behavior (self-harm, restriction, working, sex, binge, purge, shopping, gambling), which is a great idea in theory. Our brain labels avoidance and numbing as a pain medication, when in all reality it is more comparable to the following scenario... I broke my foot, so I punched myself in the stomach to forget about the broken foot pain for a brief moment.

Some feelings can feel intolerable. However, they will pass if you let them. Numbing or avoiding usually just stunts them. Your feelings are telling you that something is off. Pay attention and engage in self care. This is what we would do with a physical wound. If we really had that broken foot... we would be careful with how we moved and we would seek healthcare. 

This Psychology Today article is a great reminder for all of us.